Dirty Talk: The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty And 50+ Ideas

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Maybe they describe each act this third person is going to do to you, and how hot it will be to watch. “Dirty talk can reveal fantasy material, which brings in the erotic imagination for both partners,” says Buehler. “Sharing this material can increase not only arousal, but intimacy and closeness as they learn more about each other’s sexual wants and needs,” she explains. “At first for most people who talk dirty, it ends up being very basic stuff like you know, ‘That feels good, keep going, don’t stop,'” says Marin. Even the basics are more than enough to get you and your partner revved up.

• I think dirty talking sets the tone and gives a great emotional and mental headspace to say stuff you normally might feel too shy to say.
• But in the bedroom, it can imbue you or your partner with a sense of power and confidence that’s just plain hot.
• These tips will help you speak your mind in person and over text.
• By Zuva SevenZuva Seven is a freelance writer, editor, and founder of An Injustice!

You can talk dirty without being awkward by keeping it simple and sexy.

She theorizes that the preference for audio erotica over video could be due to the fact that much of mainstream porn is male-centric and can be off-putting because of the ways women’s bodies are objectified in them. Plus, those clips don’t leave much (if anything) to the imagination. It can be difficult to vocalize during sex without sounding like a dang moron. In a tweet I will remember forever, a friend of mine described the most regrettable dirty talk he’d ever done, in which he actually told a woman “I’m going to fuck your stupid pussy.” I know!

Watch your partner’s reaction

Feel free to describe the thing you actually want to do. “I gotta go down on you right now.” Of course, this is not you saying what you’re going to do regardless of your partner’s consent; it’s like using your blinker—it’s an indicator of what you plan to do next. It provides a (sexy) window for your partner to say, “Wait, play with my boobs first before you do that,” or whatever else they might want. This should be obvious, but if Jason Derulo’s lyrics are any indication, it is not. Part of not sounding ridiculous is using sexy terms for body parts.

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• And that’s normal—your first time doing anything is going to be a bit strange.
• Dr. Tara says one accessible way to talk dirty is to simply describe (exactly) what’s happening as you’re having sex.
• So much communication happens virtually these days via texting, Skypeing, and social media.

If you’re new to dirty talk, it can definitely feel a little unnatural at first. And that’s normal—your first time doing anything is going to be a bit strange. But before I dive into some tips, remember that talking dirty isn’t required to have hot sex. It can, however, be a great way to add some variety, increase eroticism,  and help you and your partner connect in a totally new way.

Some people adore their dirty talk to be filled with swear words, others hate it. I’ll get into specific phrases you can use momentarily, but first, some guidelines to help you get your black belt from the dirty talk dojo. Just like sex itself, dirty talk is something that needs to be calibrated to whoever is receiving it. Maybe something that you qualify as ‘dirty talk’ is something the other person might find offensive, silly, or straight up insane, and vice versa.

Coming up with a plan to incorporate dirty talk into future sexual experiences is beneficial because it is likely that comfort levels around it may differ. Therefore, Rullo recommends that individuals first explore their and their partner’s core needs on the topic ahead of time to ensure everyone is on the same page. Reading erotica or listening to audio porn will expand your dirty-talk repertoire. The comfort you feel in your relationship has everything to do with what you’re willing to try sexually. “Talking with your partner(s) beforehand about your interests in dirty talk can be a great way to reduce the anxiety when you’re actually in the moment,” sex and relationships therapist Kamil Lewis, AMFT, tells mbg.